economonkey

You might remember that about ten years ago, when the current government was elected, Gordon Brown made a big deal about his strict new rules for government borrowing which were all part of his ‘no more boom and bust’ promise. Anyway, now that we’ve come to the end of the biggest boom in British history […]

I am writing to enquire whether you have any vacancies on your strategic board for someone of my talents. I realise that it is a little unorthodox to apply ‘on spec’ for such a high-ranking position within your organisation, but I believe I have the necessary skills to further increase the profits and assets of Big Bank Plc. In this letter I will attempt to demonstrate my knowledge of the challenges and opportunities in our marketplace.

1) Who are our customers?

I understand that our most lucrative customers are those with the least awareness of financial matters; indeed, the less numerate they are, the better. Rather like the dear old PM, in fact.

If they don’t know the difference between APR and AER, if they fail to read the small print in their credit contracts - not that it matters, as I’m sure I have the necessary legal skills to make such text impenetrable - and if their limited attention is grabbed by an ‘introductory’ rate, then they are exactly the kind of people we need to target.

I think that if we closely follow that other highly successful model of commerce - drug dealing - we won’t go far wrong in attracting and retaining the right customer base.

2) How do we get people to take on more debt?